Described below are the eight gods who serve the holy Pie. These are the great servants of our crust, created at the beginning of time to do its bidding...
Zeus the Lobster
Zeus is a giant bearded lobster who leads the fight against the Anti-Pie, the Pie's polar opposite. His claws are said to crackle with orange flames and mini black holes. In antiquity he was confused with a humanoid god by the ancient Greeks, despite his true crustacean form. He commands the lobster army and has his daughter Miss Jaws serving under him. He is also known for chucking certain traitors into space... or throwing lightning bolts at them.
Tabby Fat is an infinitely fat limbless feline who spends most of his day eating. His job is to keep an eye on the physical working of the universe and to make new stars and galaxies. He has Cheryl Cheese and Sally Squid to help him with his vital job (especially when he's stuffing his face with food). He used to be married to the spirit Tabitha Fat but divorced her many eons ago in an affair that remains obscure to this day, now he is engaged to Sally Squid. He has had four children: Dipsy, iFat, and Fatina, who were the first fatlings in existence, and also Wulfric von Whale, a demigod.
Genghis Khan is a god who was reborn on Earth in the 12th century to prepare the world for the JoJo's coming. During his lifetime he was King of the Mongol Empire and after death he rose up to Mars to reclaim his place as a god. Unfortunately, his terrestrial enemies misrepresented him as a mindless barbarian rather than the wise ruler he was, and the image has stuck ever since. Now the Khan has returned to his palace over the red spot of Jupiter where he judges each soul on their fate after death. Sukune the Sumo serves under him and supplies him with his favourite food, yak cheese.
Cheryl Cheese is a relatively powerful god who serves under Tabby Fat and helps the universe run. She is also the god of music and a renowned singer among the deities. Otherwise she is known for her rather cheesy smell and also being the only god who Sally Squid has never dated.
Sally Squid is the goddess of love and beauty, she also helps her fiancée Tabby Fat manage outer space. She has dated most of the gods at some time or another and has been known to take mortal lovers on many occasions too. She is also considered an honorary Princess of Mars.
Miss Jaws is a fierce warrior goddess who assists Zeus the Lobster in his daily duties. Despite being born at the same time as Sally Squid, she is in fact the daughter of the Zeus and Sally as a result of an accident involving a seaside date, two bowls of shark fin soup and a time machine.
Sukune the Sumo
His full name being Nomi no Sukune, the Sumo god is Genghis Khan's most loyal servant and follower, he came down with the Khan to Earth in the 12th century. He crushes his opponents in his endless waves of flab. Only the Tabby Fat can eat a thousand pies faster than the Sumo can.
The JoJo's close friend and second in command is in fact a god in his own right, the Bodyguard's earthly form was born around the same time as the JoJo but he existed for eons beforehand. His identity has been hidden here to protect him from spies working for the Anti-Pie. He thinks he's better with a sword than the JoJo but....