Pieism: The Official Site

Embrace the Pie!

Life and Death

What most humans do not realise is that there are many more sapient species in our Solar system than just Homo sapiens. The Pie created the Earth to be it's cradle of life but decided to make the nearby planet Mars it's spiritual home and that of it's servants. Over thousands of years Mars has developed into a thriving nation with a lobster majority and significant numbers of fatlings, droids and pugs. Nevertheless, Mars' population is dwarfed by that of the humans on Earth, who make up the bulk of the souls in our universe.

All sapient beings are trapped in a cycle of birth, death and rebirth... most souls live an average at best life with no knowledge of our crust and therefore are destined to be reborn again as a human. Only those who live an exceptional life are granted the gift of being reborn as a higher race such as a lobster or a fatling. They will then live a long life on either Mars or one of the Kingdom's colonies on Earth and upon death, if they have served the Pie nobly they will be rewarded by being made a spirit. Those of a great stature can skip this step and become a spirit without prior knowledge of the Pie... but this is very rare. 

Through our JoJo though, a new path has opened to spirithood. Any human who pledges him or herself to the holy Pie and lives nobly shall upon death receive the crown of life and become an immortal spirit, with many powers detailed later on this page.

Races of our Solar System


Averaging around five to six feet at adult height and ranging in colour from a light peach to dark brown, humans are the most numerous of all races in the Solar System. They live solely on Earth and are generally unaware that other sentient races live so close to them. Humans occupy a special place in the Pie's heart since they were the first sapient race it created.


Lobsters are the loyalist of the Pie's servants, created by our crust upon Mars many thousands of years ago. Their civilisation has risen, fallen and then risen yet again since that time. They have colonised Earth  thoroughly but are careful to avoid humans noticing their technology, as the laws set down by the Pie forbid this under regular circumstances. They are exceptionally long-lived, with a life expectancy of over six hundred years. As part of their duty to protect humanity, lobsters have been granted the ability to throw fire from their claws and speak any human language. 


Fatlings are limbless feline creatures found primarily on Mars, created in the image of the god Tabby Fat. They were given to the lobsters as spiritual guides and priests and are the only form of mortal able to remember their past lives, albeit in a confused fashion. The fatlings are also the longest lived mortal species, with the eldest holding over one thousand years in age. They move by either bouncing or pushing themselves along with their tail, depending on the pace needed.


Pugs are a breed of dog which were genetically modified by lobsters to survive on the Martian surface. Initially they were little more than pets but over time they gained an intelligence almost equalling that of the lobsters themselves and have become a proudly independent race. Their region of Mars is known as 'Pugland' and their ruler is titled both Queen and Princess. The pugs were reintroduced to Earth as a gift to Chinese royalty in medieval times and have since spread across the globe, although terrestrial pugs experience a much shorter lifespan, breathing difficulties and a reduced intellect as a result of their lack of adaptation to Earth's oxygen-rich atmosphere. 


A robotic race, the droids were originally designed to serve the lobsters and fatlings with manual labour. As with the pugs, the droids eventually rebelled against this arrangement and started the Synthetics Rights movement. Eventually the droids were granted equal rights with the other races of Mars, but not before the movement's greatest leaders Jimothy Android was assassinated by a biological supremacist. He is now recognised as Jimmy the Droid: patron spirit of both droids and all others who fight unjust oppression.


Spirits are the highest of all races, what all mortals aim for but few reach. They have the power to leap ten thousand miles in a single bound, travel between Earth and Mars freely and even commune with the Pie itself. A spirit can take on any form it wishes. Only those who are exceptional can become a spirit, but through the power of the Pie and the word of it's JoJo, this has become much easier. Not all spirits were raised up by the Pie however, among their number there are malevolent and evil beings so be on your guard if you come across anything that resembles one. Notable spirits include Hiss the Snake, Jimmy the Droid, the Lasagne, Roe the Trickster and Reborn the Minion.